9/20/03 There was a man who walked along a boardwalk and never came back. He stood there for three hours, weighing his options. Maybe there was a way out that he hadn’t yet realized. Maybe the world wasn’t ready for his passing. Maybe he’d be given a second chance. He stared into the glassy water, a beam from his eyes penetrating every molecule that slid across the surface. A shaky image of his face appeared and he smiled at his own reflection- same old man, same wrinkled face, patches of worry strewn across his forehead. He asked himself how he had changed so quickly, how one day he was young and in love and the next he was all but completely lost. His hands found the railing in front of him and he closed his fingers around the splintered wood, feeling a rush of memory swim by in the salty musk of air. Slowly now. A toe eased into the water and the man gripped the railing harder to keep himself from falling. His body traveled between the even bars so that his foot could dip into the intoxicatingly cool sea. So his mind could be free. True. Natural. He reached further. His littlest toe submerged; his heel, his ankle. He hesitated in amazement. How beautiful it all was, how pure, how clean. He shifted his weight as he shook his foot violently, causing the water to undulate and sway in irregular bursts of life. He paused and a sigh of relief sent a chill up his leg as he raised his head to watch the dark horizon- black but eerily lightened by a haze that stretched around his span of vision; a fog that covered up the Earth’s mistakes. He felt his pant-leg sink into the sea and his leg quivered. It was so easy. It was so normal. So...natural...to slowly open up his fingers and watch himself inside his head as he slipped into the water, a baptismal reunion with body and mind, heart and soul. Past and future. Splash. Silent. It was cool on his chest, slippery between his fingers. He stroked the waves back and forth, oh, how he wanted to be one with Earth and never have to think again. If he could live forever...beautifully...naturally...become a part of the wave, live with the wave. It was so natural. It was so easy. So true. So right. So cool as he closed his eyes and bade his wife farewell and silently took an underwater breath so that he could swim with the fish in one of his dreams’ many glimmering seas...